Looking back over the posts from around the time my mother died…not much has changed in me emotionally. Yes, I am not as prone to cry daily. But the guilt of “I didn’t appreciate her enough rages on, fed by images and nuances from the media…all forms.
He worst is the profound loneliness. Even though my Mom wasn’t “my Mom” for the last 7 yrs of her life, I still have to face the neon-bright and glaring fact that
I AM ALL ALONE.
I have no one who will always love me, no one that will always be on my side, no one that will actually LISTEN to me, simply because I am ME. Her only child. Her daughter. Her best friend. I am truly alone now – an island in the midst of storms, tsunamis and the unforgiving, blazing sun.

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